I know I'm a failure.

Oh, how I wish I could figure out how to successfully blog.  As my Web Design teacher might say, "[Blogging] is a sea one could swim in forever without reaching the shore." Sniffle. What a poet.


Of course, these words of wisdom are coming from the creepy, questionable man who teaches very small classes in a sinister, dark classroom located in a suspiciously isolated corner of my high school just far enough away down the hall so that no one will hear your screams. 


AHAHA JUST JOKING. AHAHAAHAHA. 


But not really. If I ever find myself in that corner of the school alone, I walk a little faster.


So anyway. The pointlessness of posting things on this blog is increasing with exponential dejected sadness. After a brief hiatus due to watching old music videos and getting fat eating cookies alone my raging social life, I came back to this page thinking, Ooh, ooh, it's been a few weeks, my blog must be famous by now!


Not quite. My blog sidebar bitchslapped me with a "There are no followers yet. Be the first!"


My confidence crumbled. I had started out so strong, so sure. I was certain I was going to become a superstar of blog. No followers? There must be some mistake! No one following me? And yet there it was. The truth was looming over me and blocking out my sun of hope and dreams. Where was I now? In my soul was burning a mere iota of my former poise and glory. No followers. I am finished.


So it had come to this. It embarrassed me to no end that I was failing at blog-writing. ME? THE ACCLAIMED STAR BOOK REPORT WRITER OF LEVERETT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, SIX-TIME WINNER OF THE TEACHER'S PET AWARD, DUKE OF ALL THAT IS REMOTELY LITERARY?


No. It couldn't be. 


But it was.


And it is.


How can I come to terms with this? As of today, I am still the single solitary reader of this blog. My mom won't even read it. My friends won't even read it. What a failure I am. 


...At least those damn teachers seem to like me.